failure_artist

I will most likely never finish Send in the Clowns. The thing is cursed. Even setting aside the racism and transphobia, I cannot in good conscious write cops as sympathetic or likeable in any way. I cannot post this on ao3. Yet I do have pride in some parts and I know people want to read it, so I'll post links here to the google doc.

Original Act 1
Less Racist Act 1

Incomplete Act 2 (general warning for sexual abuse)

Keep in mind this is writing so racist and transphobic I got kicked out of a Discord so beware. Enjoy.

Current Mood: disappointed

I was recently kicked off of a Homestuck server because I presented a first draft of a fanfic for critique and sensitivity and the members were uncomfortable with how racist and transphobic the story was. I offered to delete the offended parts, but I also nitpicked their advice on twitter. I should have gotten help with the story in the planning phase so I wouldn't have created those versions Handmaid and Chahut. Even knowing I was going to change it, the members were disturbed I had wrote such things in the first place.

I am now looking back on my body of work and realizing there are uncomfortable racial elements throughout. I have orphaned the worst work. I don't have the heart to get rid of all my works. I should not bring up racism in my work unless I am giving it the serious weight it deserves.

I also think I might just be an unpleasant person to be around. I don't think I won friends in my server. Though I don't remember offending anyone, I think I might have stepped on some people's toes. I am sorry for that.

I hope to do better so another incident like this doesn't occur.

I have saved my MST3k fanfics over the years and they've been sitting on my ancient laptop. I realized recently that some might have been lost in time. So I figured I should upload them on googleDrive and share them. Now, I might run into difficulties since these are not technically mine to share and some people might be happy they were wiped off the web. However, if you want anything removed, you can tell me and I will.

Another problem is some of these MSTings have jokes that are offensive to marginalized groups. They are products of the 90s and 00s and were mostly created by the male nerds of that era. So beware of that.

Some of these MSTings are of 18+ fanfics with rape and underage and strange kinks. However, the authors of the MSTings generally put if it's 18+ in the header and in some cases comically censor the worst of the worst.

So here it is, on googleDrive: Favorite MSTings

In November 2018, I completed my NaNoWriMo fanfiction novella "Friendship & Stuff". I had plans for side stories but I did not work on them until November 2019. Here is a list of the side stories, listed by their WIP name in the order I plan to publish them.( Warning: Incest mention )

Current Mood: working

John Egbert as a trans boy has been done for years but recently John as a trans *girl* has become popular in the last few months. John got the new fanon name June after a canon chat where John remarks that John with 8 Os sounds like June. Not the most creative new name but maybe that fits John.

This fanon ascended to "canon" after Andrew Hussie held a contest where anyone who found his signed Tolberone candies would get a wish granted. A fan found one and asked for June Egbert to be canonly June Egbert and Andrew Hussie granted the wish. Yet it's unknown whether this paratext will appear in any of the official text of the Pumpkinverse. The comic is over, the Epilogues (where such a thing would most likely have happened) seem to be over, and Pesterquest seems to be a prequel. The writing team could add a few trans egg comments to John's route, though that would make their absence in the comics and Epilogue more prominent. Hussie could add commentary in up-coming books where he suggests certain remarks show John is trans and smooth over his "I identify as an attack helicopter" jokes in Openbound. Maybe in the end Hussie saying "June Egbert is canon" has as much weight as "all ships are canon" and "all fantrolls are canon". A nice sentiment, but still paratext.

What I'm really wondering with June Egbert is why after all this time is this possibility popular. I wonder if it's more than just transfeminine pride. The Epilogues tarnished Jane Crocker and made John/Terezi completely canon. Maybe John is serving as a replacement Prospit Girl and the change in gender means that Terezi and Vriska are still lesbians. This is just a theory.

I might just be bitter I didn't find a Tolberone and make Hussie declare that Gamzee was an enby with a heart of gold. So you can disregard what I have to say.

I had this dream today that was a type of morality play set in Hell. An introduction said that pedophiles who abuse children go to Hell but also pedophiles who don't abuse children ONLY because they fear Hell go to Hell. There was then some drama between a man and a woman and the woman's father had abused her and the man talked of horrible fates for the father but the man had objectified teenage girls. I woke up around then.

What I keep thinking about is the ethical question posed by the dream. While in the dream, I thought the introduction was flawed because someone shouldn't be punished for something they didn't do, no matter what the motive for abstaining is. It would be better if one treated children correctly out of respect rather than fear of punishment but what matters is children's safety. Yet I wake up and find it's my own mind that created that flaw. Dreams are funny that way.

Check it out

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

I got this book out from the library "The Book of Highs: 255 Ways to Alter Your Consciousness Without Drugs" by Edward Rosenfeld. I'm not sure it's useful to figure out how to get high (drugs may be safer and easier in many cases) but I thought it could be a good writing meme. Write a character experiencing the following mental state. Here's the list:
( Read more... )

Current Mood: Creative

(This sporking was originally made in 2015 but I am posting it now as part of my application to das-sporking)

Found this JohnDave fanfic on AO3 and from the description, I had to spork it. I am not a Gypsy and I don’t claim to be an expert on Gypsies (Roma) but I know more than the author. I am not sure the author knows Gypsies are real people. I will try to avoid personal attacks on the author and I hope they take it as a form of constructive criticism. The original fanfic and the jokes I add may be offensive or triggering, so you should keep that in mind. Enjoy.

( Read more... )

Let's say you have a site that hosts nsfw art. You don't want it to be overrun with shota/loli. Gross! But what rule do you put in place to keep it out? And keep in mind, this is purely about non-photorealistic artistic rendering. Photographs are a different matter. Here are some possible solutions:

"The subject must be 18+"
- Okay, but by whose accounting?
"The subject must be 18+ in their canon"
- But what if the character doesn't have a canonical age? What about a character that ages over the series? What if they are of a race that doesn't have a human lifespan? What if the character is chronologically over eighteen but looks like a toddler?
"The subject must look over 18+"
- What does that look like? What if art gets flagged because a character is too short or has a small bust despite the character being in their 20s or 30s?
"Older teen is fine, pre-pubescent isn't."
- You still have the problems above. Plus, if we're treating pictures as morally the same as photos it doesn't matter whether the subject is 17 or 7.
"All art is allowed as long as it isn't photorealistic"
- Maybe the best choice.

I don't really draw much. My problematic work is writing which is another issue. I don't like shota/loli but I wonder if it's a necessary evil or just evil.

I just don't like Vriska. It's not because I can't handle female characters doing bad things. It's not that I am ignoring she came from an abusive situation. I hate her because the character has been given so many indulgences by her creator and fandom.

Her arc could have gone better. When Vriska was first introduced, she'd been shunned by her peer group for crippling one of their own. There was the question if she could ever make up for her crimes. Time and time again she failed. Yet in the end, despite still being horrible, she was the hero of the day.

In fact, it was because she was an abusive bully she was considered a hero. Rose's alcoholism was solved by a hand swat and some nagging. Terezi was too busy in her deadening relationship with Vriska to be in any deadening relationships with boys. Gamzee was treated like a slave and then put through a torture that gets worse the more you think about it and only Dave cared and only briefly because god Gamzee is a murderer! Jake got told he was useless but it's okay because the traumatized boy was too uppity. Vriska had a huge battle plan and it worked perfectly and she went out like a big damn martyr. Terezi still waits for Vriska. Vriska won, while her doppleganger who kinda improved lost.

Vriska is now a symbol of a lesbian rebel rather than a very flawed character. Even though most of her story arc she was focused on male romantic interests her popular ships are all female and those interests are all considered faked. Her bullying of Tavros takes on a different focus. She was forced by a lesbophobic society to be interested in such a basic boy. She's the victim. But she eventually broke free and dated Terezi. Sure, canonly Alternian society doesn't care about sexual orientation but it is a satisfying narrative. Even though I don't like Vriska, I like the troll being bisexual like me, so it irks me when people apply comphet (already a problematic term for humans) onto trolls. I actually wavered in making this post when I found out Word of God says Vriska did have a crush on Equius. Still, that doesn't erase everything.

I hate Vriska/Terezi, even though I have written it. Yet that was years back, before the ship became what it is today. The two are connected by a Red String of Fate but they are a terrible couple. Terezi isn't much happier with Vriska being alive than with Vriska being dead because she still feels guilty about almost killing her. Vriska cruelly uses this fact. It's a depressing relationship. Yet it seems to be the most popular f/f after the perennial rosemary. It's been sanitized.

She's not even a rebel in her own universe. Bluebloods are supposed to be mean and use people and that's what she did all her life. She never changed. She just got rewarded.

The race fanwank is coming up again on Homestuck Twitter and I thought this might be a safer place to discuss it.

To begin: Andrew Hussie is a white man with a white perspective. I am white too.

Andrew Hussie created a handful of interrelated humans to survive a global apocalypse. In his now-deleted formspring, fans asked what race these characters are. He said they were aracial. These highly-stylized characters were whatever the reader imagined them to be. Wonderful idea.

However, the Text of Homestuck before and after this declaration undermines this. John calls Dave's Bro white. The trolls refer to the humans having pale skin. Vriska notes that John is hugging a "brown human" (Crosbytop) which suggests John isn't brown. (I actually think though that Trickster Jane being Caucasian would mean Jane isn't normally Caucasian). There's a lot of little things and big things.

Hell, Hussie's Word of God undermines his Word of God. In that same formspring answer he says the humans aren't black. He lampshades that as racist but doesn't explain why they can't be black.

I think that fans should ignore both the Text and Word of God. Homestuck is a very very imperfect work and if fans can improve it they should. But if in the end the fans imagine the humans as white that's Hussie's fault, not theirs. Just as long as they aren't assholes about POC headcanons.

Today, on my story Funny, Rufioh never has a second cup of coffee at home (nsfw link), an anonymous commenter said this:

You know what else is funny? Funny how most DamMeen fanfic I see are subtly hate fucking and I'm not. Fucking. Amused. Nor. Happy.

What is there to reply to a comment like that? I can't please everyone. Maybe someone should write Red DamMeen but that wasn't my story. Too bad. You're the one who chose two people who hate each other to be your red ship.

Current Mood: annoyed

Crossposting this from pillowfort. Here's a list of my most valuable fanwork. Note: lots of this stuff is NSFW or has controversial material:

A Visit with Strong Sad - my first completed and published fanfic, written when I was 19, under the name Hysterical Woman. It's a disturbing little horror that somehow came true.
Dating Other People - another Homestar Runner fanfic but a completely different mood. Actually got a fanfic rec on tvtropes for some reason.
Weirdoes in Paradise - A long-form H*R work. Pom Pom takes everyone to his tropical homeland where he's a prince. Plus there's a girl I claimed wasn't a Mary Sue but she is. Forever unfinished.
Strong Sad Emails (AO3 mirror) - back in the heyday of Homestuck Runner, people would make their own email series via wiki pages. I did Strong Sad. Wasn't very good at keeping it appropriate.
Hemophobia - not my first Homestuck fic but my first one (about Dave missing Bro) aged like milk. Little cute if gross Karezi fic.
Lady Mary Heartskill's Squiddles! (Thread 1, Thread 2, AO3) - my reader-prompt fan adventure from MSPAchan. Surreal adventure intercutting between a typical Squiddles cartoon and the travails of the OC creator of Squiddles. Despite the source material it's pretty blue.
eXperiment Aradia Continuation (AO3) - despite the title, it is not a sequel. I did some bloodswap sprite edits on mspachan and folks said "you should write a story!" which is what I desperately hoped they would say. I put it on googleDocs because that's how Red Dead Virgo was done. This is a great story but a terrible fanfic and that really bugs me. It's forever unfinished but I completed the first arc.
Eridan and his fuckin etchins - I went on trollmegle and harassed people as Eridan and occasionally I created gold but lots of times it's just very 2011.
My Motherfucking Best Friend - the fanfic that 4chan hated! the one that made me almost want to end it all! basically, gamzee hits rock bottom and karkat becomes his moirail (this was before the Great Pap so kudos me). lots of serious stuff in this. Finished but in a rough way. Also of note is Revisiting "My Motherfucking Best Friend".
Big Bright Beautiful Star - another finished work! Tavros is forcibly assigned the job of adult film performer yet somehow this becomes about Gamzee being yandere. Go fig. Features not one but three endings!
The Tentacles of Power - An alternate Act 6 where the magically aged-up cast travel to a universe where Condesce has just croaked and take power. Their attempt to change the empire fails...or at least would fail if I hadn't given up. Still worth a read.
And We're All Stuck in a Depression - an ambitious 1930s humanstuck AU I started and hope to revamp someday.
"Consent is Sexy" mini-fills - a reverse request thread I did on homesmut. Small stories about kink negotiation.
Ticket to Ride and wHaT iS tHiS i DoN't EvEn - two Gamzee fics in the same verse. Gamzee is a juggalo priest in a troll/human Earth. In Ticket to Ride, he has sex with Dave as part of temple prostitution but gets pissed at how irreverent Dave is. The second fic is a prequel where Gamzee has a sexy but unhappy black relationship with Equius.
A Visit with Strong Equius and The Lottery - April Fools crack
don't go on casual encounters... - my Horuss-Rufioh-Damara love triangle unfinished novella-length work. Features raceplay. I would say it's controversial but nobody has complained yet. My icon comes from this work.
HSWC 2014 Bonus Round - there used to be something called the Homestuck Shipping World Cup. I competed one year under the barely-surviving team PalePitch. These are the short fills I did.
When Capricorns Write Badfic - hillarious little chatlog fic where Gamzee writes some violent spite fics for Equius' favorite show, The Adventures of BROKEBOW.
I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of opening the goddamn door?" - a fridge fix-it fic
Now Let Thy Motherfucker Go in Peace - someone on homesmut wanted a fic where GHB fucks Gamzee and Equius and I wrote 22,714 words of existential crisis.
February in August - I prove I can write femmeslash.
That's what dormm8s are for - I write the same scene in two POVs and have all the kinks. all of them.
The Zahhaks Go to a Wine Bar - Little humanstuck comedy between Horuss and Equius. In this, I create another nachoship verse. There's a sequel and a prequel you should also check.
Touch me not - Kankri has autism-related sensory issues. actually got an inspired work out of this.
Protocol - a fabolously popular kink work.
Stuck in a Reincarnation - A jaded take on reincarnation romance, starring Gamzee and Equius and Nepeta
leakedroyalmovie.mp4 - a masterpiece of a chatlog
Gin tastes like lavender - see, I can write femmeslash AND the 1920s!
I didn't sign up for a Tennessee Williams play - a GamTav fic I SWEAR I'll finish.
Homestuck Music Videos - I have made many canon montage videos set to music (mostly Garbage because I LOVE SHIRLEY MANSON)
Utena Music Videos - also I love Revolutionary Girl Utena and also Garbage again
FA Plays UT - I recorded myself playing Undertale long after anyone cared. nobody has watched this all. not even me.

That's not a short list, is it? Dang.

I found out today that the British Film Institute isn't going to fund any more movies with facial scar villains. Makes me think how part of Gamzee's Face-Heel turn involved him getting his face scarred (or rather him scarring his own face). Also that I created a scarred and disabled villianess when I was younger.

I was at the library today getting more books than I can read when I saw Penn Jillette's God, No!. The cover declared the book had a test to see if one was an atheist. I opened the book and it was prefaced by this thought exercise: if god came to you and told you to kill a child, would you? If you say no, you value morality and love more than god and are hence an atheist. This is supposed to be a gotcha but I can think of many responses:

God is the embodiment of morality and love. It is impossible for God to tell anyone to kill a child. If an entity claiming to be god says that, the entity is lying.
God is a force of nature that can't "speak" like a living thing can.
Believing in god's existence doesn't obligate one to do whatever god asks. I believe in Donald Trump's existence but I wouldn't do whatever he asks.
From a Jewish perspective, I could say what's important is the Torah and since G-d said in the covenant (the Torah) that we are not allowed to murder then G-d should respect that.
There are many gods and if one told me to kill a child I'd start worshiping a better god.

There's probably lots more.

I was re-watching Lindsay Ellis's video on the bad take on racism in the modern-day fantasy AU movie Bright and of course I thought about Homestuck. Homestuck has fantasy racism but unlike Bright it doesn't touch on real world human racism. The fantasy racism against lowbloods does not come from anything the lowbloods did, unlike the anti-orc sentiment in Bright. The racism isn't just individuals being mean but enforced by the system. The lowbloods aren't coded as any human race (though oddly enough the elite are coded black at times). The lowbloods live a shorter lifespan but they aren't really inferior intellectually to the highbloods. Where it becomes tricky is Beforus. Is Beforus a commentary on how even racism that doesn't come with hate or violence is still bad? That would be a good message to present to the world. But the biggest critic of that world is very unlikable and the second biggest critic is more interested in gender oppression than racism. Makes one wish there was a Friendsim that took place on Beforus.

About Me

Gender: Female
Trans: No
Pronouns: She/her/herself
Orientation: Bisexual
Ethnicity: White Half-Jewish
Age: 33
Native Language: English

Before You Follow

I would prefer it if you are over-18. This blog posts NSFW material and while I do tag it might be easier for you not to follow
I do not tag the “q slur”. It is offensive to people who identify as that to call it a slur
I don’t tag swearing.
Don’t follow if all you’ll do is disagree with me
Definitely don’t follow if you voted for Trump

Positions

Anti-Trump
Anti-Nazis
Anti-racist (call me out if I say the wrong thing)
Anti-sexism
Anti-antisemitism
Anti-Radical Feminism
Anti-transphobia
Anti-aphobia (aces and aro are LGBTQ+
Anti- “people-first language”
Anti- “cure for autism”
Anti - “that person doesn’t look disabled”
Decriminalize sex work
Decriminalize drugs
Pro-shipping
Pro-kink
Pro-Gamzee
Anti-Retcon

I guess this will be a thing.

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failure_artist

March 2021

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Recent Entries

Send in the Clowns

An Apology

Get Me Rocket Number 9

Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe

June Egbert

Morality Dream

I got a Ko-Fi page!

The Evolution of "Friendship & Stuff"

The Book of Highs: 255 Writing Experiments

Gypsy's Dreams - A Sporking

The Problems with banning "Sim CP"

I hate Vriska

Race in Homestuck: Text vs. Word of God

Funny comment on Funny, Rufioh

The Essential Failure Artist

Facial Scarring and Homestuck

The Atheist Test

A thought on allegorical racism in Homestuck

Everything you needed to know about me (on Tumblr)

Hello tumblr folks